I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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