OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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