Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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