you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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