i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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