I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
