Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
