So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I need to align my fucking chakras
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize