Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
