Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
are you so shy because you have an std?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
