Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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