I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
