Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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