You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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