sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize