The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
