went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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