fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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