Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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