I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
