I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
