even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
