wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
