I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
