Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
