Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I currently don't understand fingers.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
