her vagine was all disorganized.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
