I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
