belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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