she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize