Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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