Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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