Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
