this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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