Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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