You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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