I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
