Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
