Cold hands, warm shart.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
