You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
