Her vagina should come with caution tape.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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