she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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