I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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