Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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