he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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