if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize