Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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