I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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