Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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