whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize