He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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