I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
