I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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