Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
