you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
