Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
