Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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