just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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