living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
