I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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