True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
