yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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