come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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